Lupita Nyongo

Fashion , 3 March 2014

Oh The Sheer Joy / Watching The Oscars In A Knit

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I enjoy scouting the dresses worn to the Oscars as much as the next person. A little admiration here (Cate Blanchett, you goddess) and a little judgement there (Kate Hudson, too low cut) can really provide much amusement during yet another dreary, drizzly day (England, if you don’t stop raining soon, I will have to reconsider my citizenship).

Cate Blanchett Oscars 2014

They also provide a little glimpse into what will filter down to the high street for occasion dresses; I suspect we’ll all see a sea of silver and pastels at weddings thanks to the likes of Lupita and Cate.

What I like most about the Oscars, however, is that I don’t have to go to them. I can sit at home on my sofa, judging the spectacle in a big jumper. This has two merits: firstly, nobody can see me in all my dishevelment. Secondly, I am oh-so-very comfortable.

While Lupita/Cate managed to look both comfortable and stylish (not bland – there was much blandness evident on other attendees), the rest of the dresses chosen were either dull or just looked perfectly insufferable for the poor wearer (who would have to employ constant vigilance to avoid flashing unwanted regions of their body).

There’s no sartorial fail equal to that of feeling – and looking – uncomfortable in your dress. Miranda Kerr and Irina Shayk exemplified this miserable approach to dressing, displaying breasts that looked ready to pop out their fabric prisons given the slightest shimmy. It is a good thing neither of them attempted to join Pharrell’s dance.

My jumper does not allow for such blunders. I have therefore come to the happy (and convenient, given that I’m unlikely to be invited anytime soon) conclusion that while the glitz and glamour of the Oscars may be alluring, it is all more agreeable as an unscrutinised and cosseted observer.*

Miranda Kerr Oscars

Here are two comfortable jumpers in which to (stylishly) indulge the couch potato in you:

– Mint Velvet Ivory Zip Back Boxy Knit, £59 at House of Fraser.

– Helmut Dark Grey Flecked Alpaca Blend Jumper, £225 at Liberty London.

Helmut knitted Jumper

* If anyone from the academy is reading, I of course retract all the above and would be delighted to attend in a thoroughly uncomfortable yet appropriately dazzling ensemble.

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